First

hand-holding-black-and-white Photo : Alanna Bagladi

I try to let you go but you still have me holding on by the thinnest thread
You fill me with false hope and in return you are filled with amnesia when I lay myself at your front door

you say you are alone,
you say you don’t know what you’re doing

yet you still are living a lie
still juggling too many loves just as you always have
you mute me when she’s around
you tell me that she’s nothing and just confused

You have intimate moments with me
then duplicate them with someone else
Yet I was here first
You were mine

I use to think she’d won
Jealousy and envy used to pulse through my veins
I’ve always known about her, as she’s known of me
I just thought you carried the same love and respect for me as I did you

You found new interests
Whispers and hidden conversations became your oxygen
Yet true love doesn’t have to hide

you broke your promises
you shattered what was built
yet
you won’t let me go
you want me as your fixture forever
But this is not what I signed up for
I was here first
but she can have you