Totally Honest Dating Profile | Amber

As a 27-year-old woman, I can safely say I do not understand dating. I am a strange girl. I become friends with anything and everything I touch: dogs, babies, baristas, UPS drivers, the spider in my window, does not matter, I want to win every heart. This may sound like a positive, but trust me, it gets pretty annoying. My best friends deal with a lot (you know who you are). I typically don’t like change, and if my friends want me to do something outside of my comfort zone they typically have a presentation planned with strong reasoning. This being said, they know they can call me for anything and as long as I am alive they will never go without. I am the friend that will drive with you to your ex’s at 2 am playing “Knuck If You Buck” by Crime Mobb. I will stand by your side no matter what. With most men,  I likely have subconsciously friend zoned you before you ever had a chance.

My work aligns well with my personality. I love connecting with people and because of that, I have always done well in marketing and networking fields. I am better in front of real humans. I become a bit delirious having to rely fully on digital communication, so to meet someone through a dating app is a huge struggle. I like to think I am really funny and sarcastic, and sometimes my favorite qualities about myself are less recognizable in text. I am cooler than my Instagram highlight reel. Side note, I currently have 46 unread text messages. If I am given the option, I will facetime you 100% of the time.

I drink copious amounts of black coffee. Whether or not you drink coffee will likely be one of the first questions I ask you (If you have made an attempt to date me, this is probably ringing a bell for you). I have only let 1 man past stage one after finding out he drank White Mochas. Nothing against White Mochas, I am sure they are delicious. You know when an amazing chef takes offense to you salting a dish? That is how I feel about diluting a beautiful cup of coffee.  I also did not grow up drinking milk, so black coffee raised me. I love talking about coffee processes, origins, and brew methods. Coffee is like wine, only I can get away with drinking it all day. I will not force this interest on you, but I hope you can respect my love and passion for the work and effort that goes into a great cup of coffee. I am oddly turned on after writing this paragraph.

I am one of the most stubborn people I have ever met. I prefer to be the DJ on car rides.  I take really long showers, I also never remember to close cabinet doors. I have no filter, catch me at your local coffee shop blabbing about vaginal health and reproductive rights.

I teach Yoga and I love to feel empowered through movement. I will post Instagram photos of myself doing cool Yoga poses. If you tell me it is inappropriate or lame, I will fight you. I can represent my body and my passions however I please. Those poses are hard, bro.

I love to dance. I run late a lot because I make up dance routines in my mirror, when I should be getting ready. My first dream was to be a Fly Girl from the TV show “In Living Color”. My first concussion and my first set of stitches came from me attempting to break dance on a glass coffee table. Man, glass coffee tables in the 90’s were the bee’s knees. I can talk about music for days, and I know more about Andy Warhol than I know about my family history. I love a good Dirty Martini, and I am always in the mood for wings. Brand New lyrics changed my life, and when I need a good cry I go for a drive listening to Tupac.

I need a brave heart for so many reasons, mostly, you have to be able to tell me when I am wrong. This does not mean in a sense of moral decisions, but sometimes I need someone to remind me when I’m being a brat. My best friend has no problems calling me out on my diva, and don’t worry, I am easily brought back to real life.  I am a very confident person, but I still thrive on affirmation. I have dated men that claim they don’t compliment me because everyone else does. Please, do not do that. I am not ego driven. I do not feel empowered by likes and DM’s, I thrive on real soul connections. When I love, I love hard.

My father taught me about good music and the importance of being nice. He also taught me to be a dope soul. I love my best friends and I love Kansas City. Loving my friends will be the best way for you to understand me, as they have spent years trying to figure me out. To respect them is to respect me. They will give you all the funny insight on me and my life and trust me, they are savages. GOOD LUCK!