A Letter To My 30-Year-Old Self : Anna Gragert

Writing-notebook-hands-pen-wood-table Photo : Rachel Mandel

Hi there, Future Anna!

What is UP, girl?!

We both know that we have a lot of standard aspirations, various weird dreams, and some very high expectations for ourself. Seriously. Those expectations are sky-high. (Also, do you remember the movie Sky High? Does this memory make you feel old? Remember how you thought that the power to control plants was the coolest power of all the superpowers?)

We also know that we love lists and that bullet points ease our chaotic mind. So… here goes nothing…

Here is what I hope for you:

  • I hope that you are taking care of yourself. Go to bed. Stop worrying about other people’s problems. Keep buying those expensive organic meals, even if they make you feel financially guilty. Why? Because you deserve it. That’s why.
  • I hope that you are your own best friend. Let’s be honest: we are terrible at picking friends. (Are we still terrible at this?) We always end up with people who only care about themselves and that is not how we roll. Because of this craziness, I hope that you have learned to love yourself at 30-years-old, not just as a human being, but as a best friend.
  • I hope that you have stopped comparing yourself to others. You work so freakin’ hard. You try your best, day in and day out. That is all that matters.
  • I hope that you are going on adventures. I have been struggling with social anxiety, so I hope that you conquer it in the future (because I know you can). Let the world be your pearl-filled oyster… and stuff.
  • I hope that you are kind to yourself. People make mistakes. You are human. This is normal and it is perfectly OK.
  • I hope that you are happy. So blissfully happy that sunbeams burst forth from your skin.

30-year-old Anna, I want you to know something. I love you. I truly do. Not because you are me and I am you, but because you are a great person. You forget that, sometimes. You forget how much love you give. You forget how much you care. You forget how hard you try, not just for your own good, but for the good of others.

Anna, you are a beautiful goddess and no one can take that away from you. (And no, that is not cocky. It is the truth.)

With all the love in the universe,

Your Past Self