Finding Balance Between Self-Care and Care For The Ones I Love

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I am a try-hard. I am a try-hard for things that sometimes don’t particularly rank highest on others’ lists of priorities. My priorities seem to focus on people rather than the actual tasks at hand.

Did you tell Mom and Dad you love them today? Send them a quick text.
Make sure you wish Megan good morning. Everyone needs something to help them out of bed sometimes.
Check in on Victoria, she’s miles away and everyone needs a friendly reminder there are people here at home who care and miss them daily.
Ask Zoe how homework and classes are going. Pestering does indeed help jump start motivation.
Call your sister, sometimes she needs a pick me up, too.
Make sure everyone is happy and comfortable and if there is anything you can do to help them? Get to it.

I consider myself someone who tends to “be the mom” with friends and their life situations. I put my relationships with the people in my life at the forefront of my priorities because I see each and every one of them as an essential part of my own being. Without any of them, cliché as it is, who knows where I would be? So I tend to unconsciously be the one who is at their beck and call: ready to type a ridiculously long text message to shed some positivity on their situation, ready to motivate them to take the risks they think they are not calculated enough to take, and even ready to show up on their front door, arms open wide, ready to envelop them in a bear hug.

Lately I’ve been thinking that the way I prioritize the many aspects of my life might be foolish; Should I put my personal life before my academics? Should I prioritize others’ feelings over my own? What am I even doing with my life?!

I spend nights wide awake worrying if I did enough to make one of my friends feel better, rather than freaking out over my midterm the next day. I put myself out to make sure others can be comfortable. I spend countless thoughts over how to fix another’s situation; on how to put a new spin on the positive thoughts I’m trying to push every which way.  Although I have accepted that it is completely okay to prioritize this way, I’ve been having trouble balancing my own problems with caring for the people in my life.  How does one know when to stop trying so hard? And to prioritize their own life over someone else’s? I feel the balance must come naturally and over time. Sometimes you need to be selfish. Sometimes you need to be sympathetic. It isn’t as life and death as I seem to make it be half the time. Ultimately when it comes down to it, you should know when enough is enough and when it is time to breathe and let things fall into place. I have to keep reminding myself that as much as I want to try and fix everything for everyone, sometimes I need to fix myself first.

 

Harrison_Becky_Bio
Becky Harrison : Certified klutz, free spirited, go-get-em goof ball. Loves writing poetry and the beach. Strong believer in bucket lists.
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