You’ve been telling every one that you would wait until you were (at least) 30 before you had kids. It’s “time”—so where are you in your life?
I hope you haven’t chained yourself to any useless promises like waiting until a certain age to have kids, get married or meet a specific career milestone. I hope instead that you are wherever you want to be at this time and that your life has led you to a place of happiness and fulfillment. If you haven’t reached it, that’s okay, too. You’re only 30 years old, lady. It’s an ongoing journey.
I want you to take inventory of the present, of right now. To think of all of the people in your life, the ones that you love and the ones that love you. They might not all coincide, but I hope they do.
I want you to look at your surroundings, wherever you’re reading this, and think about your environment. Do you feel at ease here? Is it a place or a space that is reflective of your fundamental self? Do you feel like you here?
I want you to think about your self, do a quick physical and mental evaluation. Don’t think about the details, but rather an overall reflection. Do you feel good? Do you feel powerful? Do you feel beautiful?
I mostly have questions for you because, seven years behind you, I have a limited imagination of where you are in your life. If I were to envision exactly where you are now, I’d place you in the mountains. I say you’d be successful, married. You’d have a cool home and nice clothes, because you will always love clothes and instill some sort of irrational importance to them.
My questions are also out of concern. Because my main hope for you, 30-year-old-Lisa, is that you are taking care of yourself and that you have let yourself grow into who you want to be. That you have focused on what you think matters and that you have let go of what you know, deep down, really doesn’t matter. That you have let yourself be loved by yourself and others. That you’ve shared that love with those around you. I worry that you might withdraw too far into yourself or let others define who you should be, but I know you have the strength to avoid that.
For your entire life you’ve always looked toward the next step, and knowing you, you’ve checked them off your list. So think about where that has taken you so far and if that’s how you want to continue. You could start a family now, if you’re in that position, but you don’t have to. Maybe you already have. Whatever the situation is, make sure it’s the one you want and not the one you think you should have.
And I hope you think about me, 23, drinking Merlot on a Sunday night, looking out for you.