“Maybe our friends are our soul mates” & The Reason I Love Sex and the City


Since the start of this blog, I have been waiting for the moment Sex and the City would be brought up. It is something that many women hold near and dear for various reasons. Some of our mothers watched it when it was first on, tuning-in every week. The other SATC-philes got hooked after catching a few episodes on E!, or watching a few at a friends house when they were just almost “old enough.”

For me, it happened when I got my tonsils out in high school and I watched the entire series through the first movie in two-weeks. It’s a weird thing, watching that show in high school. It’s a lot like reading Cosmopolitan magazine at that time. It feels like what the older women are doing. If you add up the times my girlfriends and I had the “I’m just a Samantha,” or “You’re totally a Charlotte,” conversation it would amount to hours. We were constantly comparing ourselves to and idolizing these women. Now, in retrospect, it upsets me a little bit.

When I watch this show now, I think about how one is inspired to align themselves with one of four women. You can either be the prudish friend who dreams of getting married and having kids, the career-woman friend who never considered a family in her life-plan and can’t have any fun with her demanding job, the single friend who has lots of sex, or the friend with the passionate relationship that no-one understands. You simply must pick one. It’s such a juvenile concept, but the way the women are defined they seem like the only options.

I found myself watching SATC during a stressful time, as I often do, and just getting frustrated with the whole thing.   Why are they always talking about men? Why can’t Miranda have her dream home, career and family? Why does the entire world seem to revolve around Carrie Bradshaw? She does some pretty shitty things.  It shocked me for a moment, trying to figure out why I loved the show so much, why I cared so much about these four women.

Then, straight from the source herself, Sarah Jessica Parker was recently quoted discussing her issues with reality television shows today. She explained that on SATC those four women were devoted friends, there was no “drama” or cattiness. There was no hatred. And she is right! They had fights, but they resolved them, as any adults who love each other would.

At the end of the day, I might be a Samantha that accidentally fell in love into being a Samantha/Charlotte/Miranda, and I may have best friends who’re a Charlotte with Samantha’s sass and a self-admitted Miranda with a tint of Sam. I might have friends who don’t personally identify with any of them, and that’s okay. The actual important thing, and the thing to remind a 15-year-old cousin or little sister as they are bound to fall under the SATC spell, is that the lesson to be learned from those women is true, devoted friendship.


Pleggenkuhle_Mary Kate_Bio
Mary Kate Pleggenkuhle: Mermaid Songbird. Tattooed Beauty. ChampionSuperstarPrincess. Proud Mamabear of “Obvi, We’re The Ladies.” Sarcastic, But Rarely Caught Without A Smile On.